Friday, 29 April 2011

Not the Royal Wedding

Today, I would have liked to have been standing in The Mall being fed Polo Mints by well wishers.  Her plan was to decorate me with a necklace of Union Jacks and then go to gate crash the street party in Stoke Climsland.  Alas, She ordered bunting which had huge flags.
This is not a good look.  To Her credit, She did conclude that my being festooned in 10 feet of large plastic flags was likely to be a hazard at a street party. 
Plan B was to go for a hack with my chum Freddie, and take advantage of the lack of traffic by exploring the other side of the A388.  Had a very pleasant ride, even though the roads were actually swarming with Royal Wedding refuseniks driving aimlessly about.

Monday, 25 April 2011

Playing at Eventers

She has been inspired by watching Badminton Horse Trials on TV, so I was taken to the woods to play at eventers.  I did try to point out that eventers are generally svelte and have been fathered by horses bred to win races, whereas I have ample proportions and have been fathered by a horse bred to plough fields.  But Her imagination knows no bounds, so I thought it best to go along with it. 

This video clip shows me bravely tackling the Water Complex, soaring over the Open Ditch and gamely cantering on until I am finally defeated by The Incline.

video

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Gymkhana!

In line with her strategy to get me used to indoor schools, she took me to the SCADRA gymkhana.  Here is a photo of me and Miss Blobby there.
I was amazed to find a very handsome horse on the other side of the mirror.  I tried to get to know him but he hit me on the head - twice.  I struck out with my foreleg to teach him a lesson, but apparently this is Not Allowed.  I amused myself trying to dismantle the mounting block, but that isn't allowed either.  Then I tried to make friends with some small ponies but they squealed at me.  In the end She decided to take me home.

On the way home I reflected on a very creditable performance in the Flag Race, marred only by the poor hand to eye coordination of my rider.  The highlight, though, was the Bending Race.  I weaved in and out of the cones in a most elegant canter, followed by a fine volte at the end.  I could hear murmours of appreciation from the onlookers, so I decided that a bit of showboating was in order for the return leg.  I weaved my way back executing flying changes at each change of direction to great applause!

Monday, 18 April 2011

Oh Dear

Things have not gone well lately.  I was allergic to the delicious new haylage and was very poorly for a while.  She is now buying haylage in smart white bags but goes round muttering about money, although this isn't an entirely new phenomenon. 

Following a bit of a crash course in fitness, I was taken to a couple of dressage competitions.  I gather that we are not to speak of them again.   She says I must go on lots of outings to the indoor school until I lose the urge to escape from the arena.

After reading a book on equine nutrition, She has purchased a big bag of micronised linseed and put some in my food.  Phah!  It smells of old fish, I don't know why she thought I would want to eat the stuff, and it spoiled the rest of my breakfast so I threw all my food out of the bucket onto the floor and refused to eat any of it.  She is now giving it to Tilly who seems to like it, but then Tilly has been acting very oddly lately.